rock and roll musings by Tim Byrnes

Rock Star INXS: Like Shooting Fish in a Barrel of Monkeys

     I had, until the last few weeks, succesfully avoided the arena of TV reality shows, mainly due to a long held belief that one cannot be stranded on a desert island with a camera crew. Call me a nitpicker, but that's how I felt. I succumbed, almost accidentally when, while channel surfing I happened upon an episode of 'Beauty and the Geek'. If the powers that be don't give that guy Richard his own talk show, then they don't deserve their powers. Not that they do to begin with, but you know what I mean.

     Of course I was appalled, at first, by the concept of Rock Star INXS; that something as enobling to me as singing in a rock band, even a has been rock band like INXS, could be grist for the reality show mill, taking one of the last few noble professions and turning it into a cattle call crapshoot complete with the suddenly bimbonic Dave Navarro. Somewhere Perry Farrel is adjusting his Xmas card list, y'know. I was therefore prepared to completely rip the show apart in this space under the title Rock Star INXS: Do You Really Have to Ask? Not much had occurred on the show to change my mind, but yes, a little has.

     Let it be said for the record that Dave Navarro has crossed over to the enemy once and for all and that most if the contestants are basically American Idol lemmings with poorer grooming habits than the usual AI freeze dried Whitney wannabe's, but there have been moments that, if not exactly heart warming, at least cut through the chill with more precision than, say, Pink Floyd at Live 8 (and no, I shan't be cutting the Floyds any slack anytime soon) or the last 4 or 5 Lou Reed records. I'm especially enjoying JD's slow self-immolation as he tries desperatley to walk tyhe tightrope/razor's edge between having that ol' devil may care rock and roll attitude and, well, being an asshole (every reality show needs, or rather creates, an asshole, it seems). So far he's falling on the assholic side of things, but since when did that prevent ANYONE from becoming a 'rockstar'? Case in point: Jim Morrison, as big an idiot as ever pissed all over a hotel hallway, yet still lionized to this day by folks who really ought to know better.

      The women on the show are, of course, comely and fraught with attitude, although the butterfly tattooed Heather is scary on SO many levels it's hard to know where to start. Her version of 'Burning Down the House' sounded like James Brown at 78 rpm being fed through a gravel crusher and then set on fire - and not in a good way. I can't begin to describe the awfullness of last night's turn on 'Rock the Casbah' by Dana (or whatever her name is), all dressed up like the Bride of Frankenstein after a bender at Victoria's Secret; shooting the chorus out of the Whitney cannon while nursery rhming the verses to sleep, if not death. Then there's the folky waifgirl and the Blooze Mama, who's names and personalities escape me at the moment. That's the crux of RSINX's problem, no personalities. Lots of photo op crop like Ty's mohawk (Corey Glover, call yr office). And Mig's (the probable winner of this crapshoot, emphasis on crap) sculpted body, but precious little heart and soul being offered from the stage.

     The good things about Rock Star INXS? Well, for one there's the House Band, an amazingly versatile and competent group of musicians who have yet to receive near the recognition they deserve. I'd like to hear more of them and less of Navaroo and the INXSer's lame ass comments regarding every performance. And JD's version of 'One Hand in my Pocket' was as rock and roll as anything I've heard lately. The boy's just itchy and twitchy enough to merit attention but he then has to ruin it (and his chance of getting laid backstage, let alone WINNING this thing) with his lame remark about how he loves INXS songs and the other contestants are just learning them etc. etc. Following that performance with a version of 'We Are the Champions' that out and out sucked (and not in a good way, like Green Day's version) and then blaming his poor performance on the fact that his long lost sister showed up etc etc, put the final nails in the poor guy's coffin and ultimately snuffed out my interest in the show.

     If these are the champions, then Ian Hunte was right and rock and roll really is a loser's game.

     More's the pity. 

Posted by: timbyrnes at 21:29 | link | comments (9)

Hey Everybody: A Quick One While I'm Not Away

Wanted to drop a line on my lunch break to share the following note I found in my Inbox this afternoon. Vive le France, Vive le Smith! Will have more thoughtful, original, witty and semi-subversive posts soon but I gotta get back to worrk, which has been fun and hard but mostly fun. Personal note to MG: Sorry about yr fish and ya can't go wrong w/a dog. At least that what Buster says!

tb

PATTI SMITH RECEIVES TOP FRENCH CULTURAL HONOR!

The Insignia Of Commander Of The Order Of The Arts And Letters Presented To Pioneering Rock Artist By Culture Minister Renaud Donnedieu de Vabres

Congratulations to the groundbreaking rock & roll artist Patti Smith on being awarded of one of France's highest cultural honors.

Smith, whose seminal rock & roll album, Horses, was released in 1975, was presented with the prestigious insignia of Commander of the Order of the Arts and Letters by French Cultural Minister Renaud Donnedieu de Vabres at an AIDS benefit concert in Paris on Sunday, July 10.

Smith, cited as an authentic rock & roll poet laureate, was praised by the French Cultural Ministry as "one of the most influential artists in women's rock 'n' roll." The citation also noted Smith's high profile appreciation  of the 19th century French poet Arthur Rimbaud.

Previous recipients of the Order of Arts and Letters, established on May 2, 1957, include William Burroughs and Susan Sontag.

Smith is currently at work on a new album, her second for Columbia Records and her first of cover songs.

===============================

www.pattismith.net
www.columbiarecords.com

Posted by: timbyrnes at 21:58 | link | comments (3)

Worker's Playtime: Live 8 and the Real World

     First the good news, for me at least. I've been hired by a local business owner as an all-around handyman/gardener. Basically I'm the Sausage King's Bitch, but it's steady work, albeit more back breaking than what I'm used to. I spent 6 hours yesterday pulling weeds and have been walking around like Fred Sanford imitating Groucho Marx since. Luckily all I had to do today was snow coat a roof, which was essentially a paint job and, due to the miracle of extension handles for paint rollers, required a minimum of bending.

     I was discussing the televised portions of the Live 8 concert with a friend yesterday and felt a real sense of dismay about the whole thing, both in political and musical terms. Now, granted I've been depressed lately and am likely painting with a darker brush than needed and also, due to not having MTV/VH1, I was only able to see what was televised on the local ABC affiliate, so I saw a limited sampling of the acts, but honestly it made me want to never pick up a guitar again.

     Not that that act would make a whiff of difference in the world, but I was struck and disturbed by how the show made me feel. I was depressed by the commercialization of what was meant to  be an humanitarian effort. I don't blame Geldof. I think he really means what he's doing and believe that he's accomplished much good work. I was sneering at all the Nokia commercials (couldn't be helped, I know it was commercial tv after all) and although I probably should have been heartened by the 'peoples' ability to text message their names to the huge onstage screens, thus becoming part of the show, literally right up there with the artists, all I could thing about was the fact that some phone company was getting 99 cents for every name on that crawl, allowing some a false sense of stardom/participation while people starved to death every 3 seconds.

     I know, I know, there's no pleasing everyone, least of all me when I get on my high horse and it's easy to criticize from the comfort of an American couch. So shoot me. In the words of Lou Reed "They say you ain't got no heart, I don't have enough heart for 14.000 assholes." Nothing's that simple. Of course music plays as people die. Of course people spend 400 million dollars on a movie while people starve. Of course people spend 100 million dollars a week watching said movie while people starve. That's just the way of the world.

     Some world!

     Anyway, enough psuedo-political posturing, let's get to the skewering of the music. As a card carrying guitar rocker from back in the day, I am loathe to admit that the performance that moved me the most, made me forget for a moment what I perceive as the futility of human existence and just had me and the critters rocking was Will Smith's performance of 'Switch'. I've always respected Smith in a way. His music never gave in to the temtations of profanity and violence as a selling tool. He strikes me as a man who has principles and anyway, 'Switch' just swung and rocked and rolled and moved in much the same way my sainted Iggy Stooge did in the days before his cruise ship commercials.

     Madonnna's version of 'Like A Prayer' brought tears to my eyes. That song always does, I don't know why. The presence of that lost looking woman who's life was saved by Live Aid 20 years ago was somehow hopeful. Not for a moment did I suspect that she was from Central Casting, at least not until now. In any event I applaud Madonna for surviving and growing from sex icon to elder stateswoman of the 80's. She also has turned out to be a hell of a singer as well as showman/shaman (Shawoman? Sounds like a doo wop background vocal).

     Speaking of elder statesman, am I the only person in the world who thinks that Pink Floyd have outlived their usefullness as a musical force? I mean, everyone's got the right to earn a living, but I was saddened by their less than lack lustre performance of 'Money', a song they've had, what? 30 years to get right? Gilmour's vocals were beyond ragged and the whole 'reunion' hoopla was a major anti-climax as Roger Waters looked about as lost as Madonna's stagehand. Now, had they brought Syd Barret out and crashed and burned through a trainwreck version of 'Astronomy Domine', now THAT would've been something.

     Paul McCartney, in fine voice and cultural iconography, did a great job, although I was disheartened to see the wonderful U2 playing second fiddle. Although their performance of 'One' was the first time I ever saw the band be anything less than transcendant. Only an off night with the cameras running, I'm sure, maybe just my mood, but depressing to say the least.

     The Who. Now I've been dogging the Who for years now. Mainly because they refuse to go away after promising and promising they will, and for re-re-and re-rereleasing 'Tommy' like every 2 years, but I have to say Townshend looked and sounded more rock and roll than anybody on that show with the exception of Will Smith. Although I couldn't help but think of all those 20 somethings in the crowd who were probably wondering who these old guys were and why were they playing the theme from 'CSI'?

     That's probably it. The crotchedy-ness (crotchidity?) that comes with old age. The feeling that the music that I had convinced myself had a sustaining power, a faith that rocked like a chair, has passed me by and that my thoughts are no longer relevant. I truly hope that Live 8 accomplishes what it set out to do, which I assume was to raise awareness of the potential for good work to be achieved by the G8 conference in Scotland. I've emailed the White House urging money to be spent in better ways. I email the White House a lot, so I'm probably on a list that gets watched but not listened to. Maybe if more of us urged our goverment to start building the world, rather than destroy it, we might get somewhere. Unfortunately, after the London bombings this morning, the focus has changed yet again.

Some world!

"Betrayal takes two. Who did it to who?"    Richard Hell                                                                                                                          

Posted by: timbyrnes at 19:18 | link | comments (1)