rock and roll musings by Tim Byrnes

I Was Shocked, I Was Appalled, I Was Taken Aback! : Random Thoughts From a Suddenly Busy Man

     Hey campers! Wow, what a couple of weeks. Got my Aunt's house moved, got my stuff into the new apartment (and this time it's more like a house than an apartment.) got the new dog settled. Poor Sammy, blind as a bat but now over the initial confusion of a new home after 13 years w/my Aunt.  Buster's happy to have a buddy and he and Sammy (who I've been calling O'Sammy Bin-Laden due to his initial, shall we say, carpet bombing.) loll around the yard like Kins of the World. Bleeker took to the new place right away but I've spent the last 2 weeks feeding MacDougal outside as he has refused to move.

   Every night I'll find him outside our old door, looking hopeful that this time I'll go in the right house. In any event, I think I outlasted the yellow beggar 'cause I woke up w/him meowing on my chest. I held onto him for a few minutes and, yes, I teared up, my boy was home.

   Hey, I never said I wasn't a wuss.

   I haven't been posting 'cause work has gone nuts. There's only 4 of us to begin with and while our manager's out of town for a week, our only other cashier decided to take the week off so she could move to another town. As this person has no car and has talked about leaving the gig for months, it's pretty sure she's not coming back, leaving the store in the capable hands of myself and the Assistant Manager. So I haven't had a day off for a week and a half, and probably won't have one off for at least another week. Clarence might actually get his full rent this month!

    I talked about the time warp aspects of the last few weeks in the last post, well, the wayback machine's getting jacked up a couple of more notches due to the imminent arrival of my 2 brothers to Fowler from parts unkown though vaguely back East. It's been 15 years since I saw my elder brother and my eldest was in town a year ago to help my sister move and didn't look me up so, basically, fuck them, y'know? Only I find myself getting mad just thinking about them and I know I'm flashing on a past that never really happened, but invented and embellished over the years by the young drunk/old coot what's writing this. Apparently they're coming out for the old "see the Aunt one last time before she shuffles off this mortal etc". I could be wrong, usually am, but that's the wat I read it. My sister and I have been getting along well lately, but that's because she's Tara, not 'cause she's my sister. So, if invited to go along on the deathwatch (actually, my Aunt's fine, I'm just being a dramaqueen, as usual) I will decline. I can only hope I can do so respectfully.

    I just can't seem to feel anything toward my family other than a bitter nostalgia; the amber waves of hate that are the resultant crop of dredging up old days. My brothers and I have nothing in common other than we shared a house during screwed up childhoods and each of us rebuilt in our own ways. I'm really not terribly interested in how they 'turned out' and have absolutley NO interest in their opinions on how I did.

   Does that make me a bad person? So what if it does, I'm not gonna fall all over myself in the spirit of reconciliation for the hell of it. I also need to not let 2 old goats from nowhere affect me like this.

    As far as music goes, I fear I've run out of things to write. Some would say that's never stopped me before (and they'd be right) but until I can come up w/something worth reading I'll be among the missing on motime for a while. Sorry about all this personal crap, but it's all that's been happening lately.

   Oh, the big news, and somewhat musically related, is that Bleeker Street Kitten is no longer afraid of Patti Smith. Perhaps there's hope for me, too.

tim

Posted by: timbyrnes at 15:49 | link | comments

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