rock and roll musings by Tim Byrnes

It's Not Dark Yet But It's Getting There

     Greetings poetry lovers! So sorry to have been away for so long - and so depressing the last few times I've been here. It's been a wierd 3 years plus ride through the divorce rebuild, joblessness and too much job followed by the numbing depression that, while I'm nothing more than a 52 yr old convenience store hack and wanna be rocker/critic/philosopher it's A) all my fault and b) I'm lucky to be alive and should be happy.

     There's that word, should, that psychological bugaboo of expectations both dashed and met. Looking back on the last few decades I can clearly see where I made my mistakes (quitting jobs, drinking/drugging too much, quitting school, 3- count 'em - 3 divorces. A feeble mind toward suicide (the most noble of deaths) but neither the nerve or the commitment neccessary to follow through. So what I've been left with is a mess of my own making, murder in my heart for the world and a clear unwillingness to be happy with what I have.

    So, fuck me I guess.

     Anyway I've resigned myself to being a miserable creature who does little more than hate w/a capital H, pummeling my new 4 track w/more poorly recorded songs denouncing god, love and the myth of the caring society. Everybody dance. Sounds like fun, right? Believe me it's even less fun living this life than reading about it. Especially when my little tonepoem home has been infested and infected by my self appointed guardian angel/nemesis Jim who feels that all my problems will be fixed if I start to believe in the same invisible man as he does, in the exact same manner.

     Bullshit. The more I investigate the reasons behind my lack of exhuberance for life, the more I'm convinced that I'm completely justified in my simmering rage. I have a situational depression: that is, my life actually sucks. But that's all, really. I mean when you really look at it, dear reader, yr life probably sucks too, but as resilient human beings we employ that wonder product of the 20th/21st century, denial. Denial makes the world go 'round right? I mean religion: many deny that killing in a war slips by the 'Thou shalt not kill' commandment. Bullshit. Politically, many (too many if you ask me) are able to listen to our war criminal president w/a straight face. Personally, many turn to the starving of the world, not to regret or heaven forbid attempt to change these sorry states of affairs but to make themselves feel better about their own sad lives. Quiet desperation. Hell, it ain't all that bad Bubba, ya could be a-starving over in that Sudan there etc.

     We are, at heart, a selfish species, who invent fatherfigure gods we can pretend to be good persons for, but let me write this out loud: If there were a god, he/she/it/them would wipe us off the face of the planet for our crimes against the same. Much like as Zappa noted once "If yr children ever realized how lame you were, they'd murder you in yr sleep." Go ahead and kill this messenger but violence solves everything and it's always been that way.

     Well, I don't feel any better. You?

   Maybe next time I'll write about music (I really like Sam's Town by the Killers) but I've still got a lot of crap left. I was gonna delete this blog completely, Jim, because I'm so SICK of finding yr crap here, but the more I though about it, that'd be like letting the terrorists win. And make no mistake, Jim, you and yr religio-fascist ilk are terrorists, forcing yr fantasy upon the masses. Well, I'm sorry Bunky but you fucked w/the wrong freedom fighter this time.

    To all the folks still reading this drivel, I love you with all my heart.

     Except for you Jim, you can go straight to the hell you invented for all I care.

     Honest enough for yr ass, Sparky?

Posted by: timbyrnes at 04:42 | link | comments (16)

Comments:

#1  02 March 2008 - 05:51

 

" Except for you Jim, you can go straight to the hell you invented for all I care."

Well, I guess since I parodied an Alice Cooper song called 'Go To Hell', aimed directly at you, a while back, I can't complain about you telling me to go there.

So for probably my last stint as self-appointed nemesis, just a few thoughts to help you put this place called earth into perspective:

1) A bar is not a church. It is not a sacred place. It is not a holy place. It is simply a bar.

2) Musicians are people who make rhythm and words. that's all. They are not messiahs.

3) No matter what you say, how much you criticize me, etc. it JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE A 100% TRUE FACT that there is a God, He wants you to go to your local Roman Catholic Church, take an RCIA class, join the church, and live a holy and sacramental life, for the rest of your life. No matter what you say, etc., that is the total truth.

4) Cowards say "they're all crooks". People of integrity discriminate on a person-by-person and issue-by issue basis.

And 3 actually goes for you too, Carl; but my harping days are over.
I'll catch you on the musical side of things over on your blog sometime soon; got the SP Skeletons CD today. In the package, the guy incluled a free bonus CDR he felt I would like, Modest Mouse's "Life is a long road to travel without a mind" (or soemthing like that). After I give them a good whirl, I'll send my thoughts.

Jim

Anonymous

#2  02 March 2008 - 14:22

 

And another thing...

Statistics show that conservatives are happier than liberals.

And take it form me, its not because of having a lot of money.

Its because of our attitude of gratitude for all of the good in life.

We don't invent phony causes like "global warming" so that we can have an excuse to sit around and be miserable.

Horrible news for the global warming crowd, the latest statistics show that the earth has actually been cooling recently. They're total liars, yet guys like Gore win the Nobel Peace Prize. Hah!

Jim

Anonymous

#3  02 March 2008 - 14:55

 

"We are, at heart, a selfish species, who invent fatherfigure gods we can pretend to be good persons for, but let me write this out loud: If there were a god, he/she/it/them would wipe us off the face of the planet for our crimes against the same. ..."

Hey Stoopid,

I already told you back on the original Dorf board, that God already went through that with Noah. He wiped everyone out except Noah and his family.
He was totally ticked at all of the evil, OK?

And then He put a rainbow in the sky as a covenant that He would not wipe out the earth again with a flood.

Now He's using something called patience and grace to help us all out. Christ told us to pray "thy kingdom come", that means for our lives and for the world.

Plus, who the heck are you, a guy who falls into the category of (as Lou Reed sang in the Bob Dylan song "Foot of Pride" at the BD tribute)...

"we kill babies in the womb and say that only the good die young"

to talk aobut the evil being wiped out. You'd be at the front and center of the oncoming tidal wave, with the whole liberal establishment.

(BTW, not that you ever were involved in an abortion, but you've certainly vocied your support for it, and have certainly voted for it.)

Man, did Dylan ever slam the uncurched rock and roll culture with that line. I mean that line was a SLAM dunk. Why in the heck was that song not included on "Infidels"? I guess Only Blind Willie can McTell.

Now dust off your Bible, open up your mind, and come along for a magical journey called "Reality". Yes, magic is real.

Its not just BS (Bruce Springsteen).

Jim

Anonymous

#4  02 March 2008 - 15:16

 

"Looking back on the last few decades I can clearly see where I made my mistakes..."

Maybe the biggest mistake was the ONE thing that you DIDN'T do:

l
-----
l
l
l

Jim

Anonymous

#5  02 March 2008 - 15:17

 

Uh, that was supposed to look like a cross, not Dolly Parton. Sorry about that.

Jim

Anonymous

#6  03 March 2008 - 02:11

 

This is you going away?
tim

timbyrnes

#7  03 March 2008 - 03:30

 

Sorry, I was trying to sing Dylan's "Hostile Farewell". but it came out sounding like "Hello Dolly".

Jim

Anonymous

#8  03 March 2008 - 03:32

 

I notice there was no refutation of my 4 points. I guess you must agree with them.

Jim

Anonymous

#9  03 March 2008 - 03:55

 

see latest post

timbyrnes

#10  03 March 2008 - 04:22

 

OK, your latest post says

"Anyway I've resigned myself to being a miserable creature who does little more than hate w/a capital H".

And?

Jim

Anonymous

#11  04 March 2008 - 21:49

 

Actually the post in question simply states that I embrace the beleif that humans are evil by nature and that I feel no need to dress up my failings w/an invisible fatherfigure I cannot but fail to please through design/ So just who is the hater here, Jim?

timbyrnes

#12  04 March 2008 - 23:20

 

On a happier and decidedly differenter note....

Traded e-mails with Neblung today. His plan sounds good to me. I DID apprise him of the logistical challenges -- i.e., Colorado's a big state, and we live in very different parts :) -- but I think a year's notice is sufficient to make it possible, especially given our dry run next month.

And as far as whether anyone else gets to hear it, you work that out. Don't matter to me. I know we'll suck, and I don't think anyone'll care. :D

burninglight

#13  05 March 2008 - 03:01

 

"Actually the post in question simply states that I embrace the beleif that humans are evil by nature and that I feel no need to dress up my failings w/an invisible fatherfigure I cannot but fail to please through design/ So just who is the hater here, Jim?"

How can hate be a failure, if there is not a God to hold us to that standard?

Are you forcing your religion on people, here?

Jim

Anonymous

#14  06 March 2008 - 01:45

 

Alright, we know that Tim can't really believe his nonsense, so what's he really all about?

Why is he so obsessed with the concept of God, yet won't commit?

Why is part of him concerned if Obama is the anti-Christ, when he claims not to believe in Christianity?

It seems like he's afaraid of committing to anything.

Why does he reason like a drunk babboon on a bar stool, instead of like an objective jury member?

I don't think its that he can't. It seems to be that he won't. But why?

Why would anyone act like that?

Why is Hillary like a saint to the guy, and Bush like a demon?

How can someone see things so backwards and incorrectly?

Where do these guys come from, anyways?

Don't you love it when someone talks about you like you're not standing right there hearing it?

Jim

Anonymous

#15  07 March 2008 - 03:37

 

I guess Tim was stumped on the questions above, too?

Jim

Anonymous

#16  07 March 2008 - 04:27

 

I wasn't stumped you asshole, I'm working. Listen. go the fuck away. I get it, we disagree, but no amount of taunting and baiting (2 very xian activities, I suppose) is gonna make me see things yr way. You are delusional as far as I'm concerned and very much not wanted here. And the Obama/antichrist bit was a mockery of the way you think. I don't believe in christ or antichrist. I'm just disgusted w/slick politicians flying hope like a flag when their just as corrupt as any other politico. I'll vote for Obama, again, because he'll piss off the most racists and anyone's better than McCauin (or Bush the Third). I don't think Bush is a demon, just a war criminal, nothing supernatural. And please don't presume to know what I believe and don't believe, It changes like the weather because no one's convinced me they know ANY truth.

timbyrnes

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